


i cut my hair

by jjomiomi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Haircuts, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, Rejection, the kenhina is NOT, the kuroken is angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:54:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25234237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjomiomi/pseuds/jjomiomi
Summary: “Well, Kuroo told me a long time ago that he liked girls with long hair. So. I kind of grew it out for him.”Shoyo was silent for a moment. “Kenma, are you saying you have a thing for Kuroo?”“Uh. Yeah.” Kenma kept his eyes trained on his hands in his lap, trying to avoid the way his face went hot.Kenma has never told anyone about his longheld crush on Kuroo. But Shoyo was probably his best friend, and he had always sucked at keeping secrets from him.Hinata laughed again. “Wow, I had no idea! Kenma, you should ask him out!”
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 271





	i cut my hair

People asked Kenma why he kept his hair long a lot. Mostly, it was jerks who asked because they were curious about shit that didn’t concern them, and Kenma wouldn’t even dignify them with an answer. When his friends were the ones who asked, he would brush them off with something about how getting haircuts was a pain, or how he just liked the style, and they wouldn’t care enough to ask anything further.

But Shoyo, of course, wasn’t like anyone else. When Kenma blew him off, he noticed. And he didn’t let things go.

Which is why, after quite a bit of pestering, Shoyo was the first person Kenma told the real reason for keeping his hair so long.

“It’s kinda stupid,” Kenma said, trying to avert his eyes.

Hinata giggled. “It can’t be that stupid. Come on—please tell me?”

Kenma took a deep breath. “Well, Kuroo told me a long time ago that he liked girls with long hair. So. I kind of grew it out for him.”

Shoyo was silent for a moment. “Kenma, are you saying you have a thing for Kuroo?”

“Uh. Yeah.” Kenma kept his eyes trained on his hands in his lap, trying to avoid the way his face went hot.

Kenma has never told anyone about his longheld crush on Kuroo. But Shoyo was probably his best friend, and he had always sucked at keeping secrets from him.

Hinata laughed again. “Wow, I had no idea! Kenma, you should ask him out!”

Kenma finally looked up so he could gawk at Shoyo. “No way. I mean, I doubt he even likes me. And it could ruin our friendship.”

Shoyo pouted. “Kenma, how long have you had a thing for him?”

“... Since elementary school.”

“Oh my god!” Kenma glared at him, and Shoyo laughed. “Sorry, sorry, that’s just a long time. Kenma, you have to confess, or something! I mean, you can’t just sit on your feelings, can you?”

Kenma had thought about confessing, sure, but he had always decided against it. “What if he hates me after I tell him?” he asked, voice going small.

Shoyo just grinned. “What if he doesn’t?”

—

Shoyo helped him write the love letter. Kenma thought it was a little cliched, but the thought of actually saying his feelings out loud made him a little nauseous, so he decided it was the best option. Shoyo stood over his shoulder the entire time he was writing it, nodding at everything he liked and scrunching up his nose at the awkward parts until Kenma scratched them out. 

When it was done, Shoyo took one of his sister’s heart stickers and put it on the envelope to seal it. “You’re gonna give it to him tomorrow, right?” he asked. “You won’t chicken out?”

Kenma shrugged. “Sure. It won’t be a big deal, I just have to hand it to him.”

Hinata laughed. “You’re so cool, Kenma! Just know I’m behind you if you do get anxious about it, alright?”

Kenma smiled. “I know, Shoyo.”

—

Kenma was true to his word, mostly because he knew Shoyo would never shut up about this if he did give up. He decided to wait until after practice: it was the only time he could get Kuroo alone, and he would be able to put it off and push it to the back of his mind for a few hours.

Though, putting it off didn’t help with the way his stomach churned, just thinking about what would happen.

Kenma could barely get the words out, when he asked Kuroo to stay after practice to talk to him. He watched their teammates file out, staring back at the couple as they hung back.

Kenma felt like his heart was going to pop out of his throat. But he stood up straight and took a deep breath.

Shoyo was behind him, he reminded himself, and his heart began to settle.

Kenma squeezed his eyes shut and held out the letter. “Please take this.”

There was silence in the gym for a moment, until Kuroo cleared his throat.

“Um. Is this a joke?”

Kenma opened his eyes and looked up to where Kuroo was staring down at him, an amused expression on his face.

Kenma furrowed his brow. “What? No, it’s not a joke.”

Kuroo smirked. “Someone dared you to do this, didn’t they?”

Kenma just blinked at him. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t this.

Kuroo started to laugh. “That’s funny,” he said as he took the letter in his hand, “someone dared you to ask me out or something?”

“No!” Kenma said. “Kuroo, it isn’t a joke. I’m trying to... I’m trying to confess.”

Kuroo didn’t look so amused anymore.

“Kenma... Are you saying you’re gay?”

“It’s not- That’s not what matters right now,” Kenma said. His fists were starting to shake by his sides.

Kuroo barked out a laugh and lowered his hands, holding the letter back out. “Kenma, I’m not... y’know. I mean, that’s kind of gross, isn’t it? Wanting to date another guy?”

Kenma ripped the letter back out of his hands. “You could’ve just said you don’t like me,” he mumbled, and he turned on his heels and ran out of the gym. 

Kenma ran. He wasn’t sure why—he doubted Kuroo was going to follow him—but something told him to get as far from the gym as he could. So he ran to the school gates, ran while his eyes started to well over with tears and his face turned hot, ran until he couldn’t anymore.

He stopped outside of the gates to catch his breath and bite his lip and try, in vain, to hold back some of his tears. It was a stupid thing to cry about, he told himself. It was stupid, the whole thing was stupid, and still he couldn’t stop.

Kenma’s hands were shaking as he grabbed his phone and dialed Shoyo’s number. He didn’t know what to say, only knew that he had to talk to him. Because Shoyo was there, he reminded himself, he was behind him, had been this entire time.

“Hello!” Hinata said as he picked up, cheerful and clueless as always. “How’d it go? What did he say?”

Kenma tried to keep his voice steady. “Shoyo,” he said, “he laughed at me. He laughed.”

“Shit,” Shoyo said. He heard rustling on the other side of the phone. “Kenma, I’m coming over.”

—

Kenma insisted that he didn’t have to come. The train ride was hours, and it was a school night, and he would be fine by himself, he just needed some time.

But Shoyo was relentlessly stubborn as usual. He left for the train station right away, barely stopping to pack a bag while Kenma tried to argue with him, and he stayed on the phone the whole walk to the station.

Kenma didn’t want to admit how much it helped, to have Shoyo on call, chattering away like usual. He let the sound of his voice calm him down on the walk home, until his tears slowed down and his hands started to steady.

They stayed on the phone like that for Hinata’s whole train ride, talking low so he wouldn’t get caught on the phone while other passengers tried to sleep, but never going silent.

Kenma had always loved Shoyo’s voice, he realized. He could hear the smile in the way he talked, always able to sense the energy welling up in him. It gave Kenma an odd feeling in his chest.

He tried not to think about that too hard.

After talking for hours, Shoyo showed up at his doorstep, a duffel bag in hand. As soon as Kenma cracked the door open Shoyo was on him, leaping forward to wrap him in a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry Kenma,” he said, “I’m sorry I convinced you to do that, it was stupid, and Kuroo is such a jerk! He really doesn’t deserve you, you know, you’re amazing and anyone who can’t see that is just crazy and-“

“Shoyo,” Kenma said, a rare laugh in his voice, “It’s fine. I told you, I’m fine.”

Hinata pulled back a bit, and Kenma saw his pout. “You’re not fine, Kenma. It’s okay. I know this isn’t fine.”

Kenma felt his throat tighten. He didn’t want to cry again about this, didn’t want to be upset. 

Hinata pulled back and started to dig through his bag. “I brought something that might help,” he said. After a moment he grinned and triumphantly pulled out a small pair of silver scissors, holding them in the air like a video game character.

“You brought... Scissors?”

Shoyo laughed sheepishly. “My mom’s haircutting scissors. You know, sometimes changing your appearance can help you get over someone.”

Kenma blinked. “That... Doesn’t make any sense at all.”

“I’m serious!” Shoyo said. “Remember a few months ago, when I got that ear piercing and Daichi wouldn’t stop yelling at me about it until I stopped wearing it in? I got that when I was getting over my crush on Kageyama.”

Kenma couldn’t stop himself from laughing. “You had a thing for Kageyama?”

Hinata sighed dramatically. “Not my proudest moment, I know. And getting my ear pierced helped!” He waved the scissors in the air. “But I figured you didn’t want me to come over here with a needle or something, and changing your hair is basically the same thing. So?” 

Kenma stared at the scissors. He hadn’t really thought about it before, cutting his hair. He had grown it to his shoulders for so long, been so careful with brushing and styling it perfectly.

And why? Because he wanted to impress Kuroo?

Kenma nodded. “Let’s do it. Chop my hair off.”

Shoyo gave his sunshine smile. “Hell yeah!”

—

It was a simple cut, really. A couple inches at most, chopping his hair off until it just brushed past his ears.

Kenma didn’t know what style he wanted, hadn’t thought that far ahead. He just wanted it gone, this stupid reminder of everything he had done to impress some guy.

Hinata made up for his lack of skill in speed and confidence. “I watch my mom do it all the time,” he said, “so I’ll just cut it like she cuts mine. And if it’s horrible, I’ll take you to the salon this weekend. Alright?”

Kenma agreed, letting Shoyo sit him down on a towel on his bedroom floor and start working.

They talked through the haircut, mostly Shoyo, though he managed to goad Kenma into finally telling him all the details about what Kuroo had said. It was painful even to relive it, but Kenma didn’t feel the urge to cry so strongly, not after saying it out loud.

“It’s almost... Relief,” he said. “I mean, it hurts. But at least it’s over with.”

“You know,” Shoyo said as he cut at the hair at the back of his head, “Kuroo really doesn’t deserve you. I mean, you’re amazing, really. You’re so smart, and so cool! And you’re one of the most attractive guys I know. Kuroo is definitely not good enough for you.”

Kenma felt his heart burst, and he couldn’t stop a smile from itching onto his face. “Thanks, Shoyo,” he said. “You’re the best friend I could ask for.”

“Of course,” Shoyo said, and he crawled to sit in front of Kenma. “Just gotta get the front right and we’re done,” he said. He took a seat right in front of Kenma, inches away from his face as he snipped at the front strands.

“You look amazing,” Shoyo said. “I mean, you already looked good before, but now? What guy wouldn’t want you?”

Kenma nodded, not really listening, just staring at Shoyo’s face, the way his chocolate eyes wrinkled fondly at the corners, the smile on his lips, and oh god Kenma was leaning closer-

Hinata put a hand between them before their lips could touch. “Oh, we shouldn’t do that,” he said, no change in his mood as he lowered his hand and leaned back.

Kenma turned bright pink, eyes going wide. “Oh, god, I’m sorry Shoyo, I don’t know what came over me, you probably think I’m such a creep now-“

“No!” Hinata shook his head profusely. “No, it’s just, you’ve got a lot of emotions right now, and I don’t want to confuse you, and I definitely don’t want to be some weird rebound thing either.”

Kenma swallowed the lump forming in his throat. He was beginning to realize that his feelings for Shoyo weren’t entirely platonic, if the way his eyes still kept flashing to his lips were any indication. But Shoyo was right, he wasn’t sure where those feelings were coming from, and he definitely didn’t want to take advantage of his friend just because he was feeling lonely.

Hinata smiled, and Kenma almost thought the ginger was blushing too. “But, I mean...” He set the scissors on the floor and reached out for Kenma’s hands. “You know how I feel about you, Kenma. I think you’re really amazing. And if after you’ve sorted out your feelings about this Kuroo thing you want to try that again, I have no problems with it.” 

He squeezed Kenma’s hands lightly before pulling back and drawing up onto his knees. “Now, I think your hair’s done. Want to come look?”

Kenma couldn’t form any words at the moment, so he just nodded and let Hinata lead him to the bathroom.

Shoyo definitely wasn’t a hairdresser. The cut was sloppy and uneven, some pieces too short and some entirely missed, and Kenma was sure the back was even worse. It was, by all accounts, a choppy mess.

And still, Kenma grinned into the mirror, reaching a hand up to run his fingers through the freshly cut locks. There was a weight gone now, some kind of heaviness lifted from his shoulders, just from seeing himself look so different. “It’s perfect,” he said. “Shoyo, you made it perfect.”

Shoyo gave his signature sunshine grin, propping his hands on his hips. “Of course,” he said. “That’s what I’m here for.”


End file.
